Sign In or Register here

ASK MERRILY/Cinderella

Merrily Preston
By Merrily Preston
Posted on Oct 07,2009
Filed Under Personal Development , Opinions,

Photo by FLICKR//lesterpubliclibrary/3488148959/<br /> <br />A Real Housewife of the Enchanted Forest: Cinderella.<br />
Photo by FLICKR//lesterpubliclibrary/3488148959/
A Real Housewife of the Enchanted Forest: Cinderella.

Alexandria, Virginia

Dear Merrily,

I have just married a military man.  We live in a large home in a good neighborhood.   He has 2 teenagers, and I have 2 preteens.  We all got along well the whole time that he and I dated.  But, now that we live in the same house, I am doing all the house work and working a full time job.  I did not expect this as his kids used to have regular chores in their own home before we were married.  Now they do no chores.  And because they do no chores, mine will do no chores.   I can’t continue doing everything by myself.  I am angry, resentful, and outraged.  How can I turn this around?

Dear Angry and Resentful,

Yours is a Cinderella story in reverse.  You married the prince and now you are sweeping the hearth.

You are in a brand new situation.  And guess what.  So are your new husband and all of the kids.  No one knows what to do, so they are doing nothing.

You and your military man will have to take charge.  Arrange a family meeting with pizza, ice cream, and an agenda: planning how to care for your new home.  


1)Personal jobs that each person does weekly, such as pick up things they left around the house, pick up their own room, change their sheets.  

2)Volunteer jobs that need to be done weekly, such as mop the kitchen floor, clean one bathroom, mow the yard, etc. 

3)Scheduled and rotating jobs, such as their day of the week to cook dinner, clean up the kitchen, do laundry.  

Post the list of jobs and volunteers.  Decide when the jobs are to be completed.  Make it clear what each job entails.  Clean up the kitchen includes put dishes in the dishwasher, wipe off the table and counters, clean the sink and stovetop, wash pots and pans.

If they announce that you cannot make them do this, acknowledge that they are exactly right.  But, their cooperation will insure that all of you live in a clean, healthy home to which all have contributed.  

Remind them: with privilege comes responsibility. 

Merrily Preston is an Intentional Life Facilitator, who lives in Woodbridge, VA. Her column is exclusive to Local Kicks.  Email questions to, or use online form at

Loading Loading..

Shopping and Services Guide

Exclusive deals from the best locals!

Browse our highlighted partners
Spas, retailers, restaurants and…
so much more.