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ASK MERRILY/Anxious and Indecisive

Merrily Preston
By Merrily Preston
Posted on Oct 08,2009
Filed Under Personal Development , Opinions,

Photo by FLICKR/zombizi_rip/160709899/
Photo by FLICKR/zombizi_rip/160709899/

Alexandria, Virginia

I haven't traveled much in the past few years, not wanting to get somewhere and have emotional problems.  In the last year I’ve hardly left the house.  Now I want to spend a couple days at the beach and then visit my sister. But I have an award winning case of anxiety and indecision.

Both trips may be too much. The beach may be too much wonderfulness.  I want to be calm, open, and aware.....enjoying everything.  When I come to my senses, I realize that I can't make that long drive or spare the money.  But online I found a flight for $220, which includes a rental car.  Now my 79-year-old mom wants to join me.  She has offered to pay for the trip, but I will not take her money.  She has trouble walking, and I don’t want to be responsible for her and possibly a wheelchair on the beach.  Also our relationship is rocky.  I am making myself a little ill over this, growing a good case of anxiety.   I want to break back into my life and I think it may take something big like this trip. How can I break through?

Dear Anxiety,

A therapist could help you make space for your indecision and anxiety and help you navigate safely through a clutter of options.

Breaking back into your life is a vital intention.  Stay with this healthy impulse to walk the beach and visit your sister.  

Remove the anxiety of taking mom on this first trip, which is just for you.  Give yourself space to stretch, fill your lungs with fresh air, enjoy the sand, waves, sunrises, and to feel your aliveness.  

Sit quietly with anxiety and indecision, being aware of your breath, and not trying to change these uncomfortable companions.  Eventually, ‘calm’ and ‘knowing’ will show themselves.  When you travel, bring them all along.  (They are coming anyway.)  

You will be calm, open, aware.  You will be anxious, closed, unaware.  We are all of these.  We run and return as our breath goes in and out.  

Read Rumi’s poem, The Guest House.  

Life force and awakening are knocking on the door of your heart.  Invite them in.

Merrily Preston is an Intentional Life Facilitator, who lives in Woodbridge. Her column is exclusive to Local Kicks. Email questions to, or use online form at

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