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Merrily Preston
By Merrily Preston
Posted on May 27,2009
Filed Under Personal Development , Opinions,

My daughter is a high school senior, but my perspective is different from the woman’s in New Career for Mom.  I am frantic at the thought of her leaving home and needing me even less.  I have been in therapy, on anti-depressants, and anxiety meds for much of my 56 years.  Recently I have tried adhd meds, which worked so well that I went off the anti-depressants. I function better now, but feel depressed for all the years lost in mental and emotional fog.  It is much clearer now how to tackle my unfinished piles, but I am overwhelmed at so many. I have a loving and supportive husband, but I am freaked out learning of our financial situation. Merrily, how I can move on in a positive way?  Whichendisup?  

Dear Which End Is Up,

After many years of fog, the long awaited sunshine has finally broken only to reveal your plate full of dilemmas: your daughter leaving for college and needing you less as a mom, years lost to the fog, too many piles of unfinished business, financial situation not good.  You are frantic and overwhelmed.  Completely understandable.  

Luckily every coin has two sides, so let’s turn them over.  

It’s hard to give your daughter up, but it’s time for her to go.  She will always need her mom, not less, but in different ways.  Your relationship can deepen and mature.

Although years were lost to depression, we are all products of our total experiences.  The shadow and the bright sides together create who we are.  Allow your awakened self to stretch into the new sunshine and begin to live.

As you tackle unfinished business with clarity, you will feel relief and accomplishment.  You and your husband could become partners in finance and make practical decisions together.  Relax into his love and support.  

When life’s demands become overwhelming, respond to your personal needs.  Take breaks, breathe deeply, walk in the woods, enjoy cups of tea.   

You are in an awesome transition.  Take advantage of it by creating intentions to be grateful for your clarity and to move on in a positive way.  Please keep me informed.

Merrily Preston is an Intentional Life Facilitator, who lives in Woodbridge. Her column is exclusive to Local Kicks. Email questions to, or use online form at

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