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ASK MERRILY/Time for Me Later

Merrily Preston
By Merrily Preston
Posted on Jun 16,2009
Filed Under Personal Development , Opinions,

I took a long walk today. I focused on everyone except me - my staff, readers, family. That brings me joy - but then I run out of gas and there's nothing left over for me. I crash and burn. I have a long list of things I would love to do, if only I "had the time."

When I finally do treat myself to a trip, my family harangues me terribly and accuses me of being "selfish." The words slice me open. I am thinking a lot about this - how often I allow others' words to chart what I do. I put off things I want to do like writing and reading.

I agree to family obligations when I am craving private recharge time. The obligations fall across my path like a log in the road. I think there will be time for me later. There never is.

Dear Time,

“Nothing left over for me.” Such a sad statement. Are you only allowed leftovers? Is there nothing that is your own?

None of us have a guarantee that we will be alive 5 minutes from now. If there is something that you want to do in this life, do it now. A lifetime is sand through the hourglass.

Your giving-on-demand saps your life force.  You must be a vital person before you have anything to give. Mother Teresa chose her helpers according to the joy in their hearts. She knew that only people with abundant joy could give it.

Abusive words are charting your course. The sword in the word ‘selfish’ slices you open. Being with family ‘should’ be a joy, not life-sapping obligation. You choose when and how to be with family rather than waiting for them to throw logs across your path.

Decide what you truly need to flourish, to live, to accomplish your dreams. As you follow your heart to these ends, you set an excellent example for all who know you. Include the long list of things you want to do, when you will do them, how you will be with family and time to recharge.

Our lives are momentary eddies in the ocean of life.  Live before your eddy spends itself.

Merrily Preston is an Intentional Life Facilitator, who lives in Woodbridge. Email questions to, or use the online form at

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