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Merrily Preston
By Merrily Preston
Posted on Aug 11,2009
Filed Under Personal Development , Opinions,

Photo by John Arundel/Local Kicks<br /> <br />Christine Houghtaling of Local Kicks meets Craig Stammen, pitcher for the Washington Nationals. <br />
Photo by John Arundel/Local Kicks
Christine Houghtaling of Local Kicks meets Craig Stammen, pitcher for the
Washington Nationals.

A happily married male co-worker and avid baseball fan has suggested that he and I, a single female, take in a baseball game.  As nice as this sounds (and I don't think he would "try" anything), I hear warning signs.  He assured me that this is no problem with his wife because she dislikes baseball and told him to go ahead. I am acquainted with her, as she has been to my home on one social occasion and I have been to hers. They have been married 30 years.

Perhaps I am too old-fashioned, but the last thing I need is wagging tongues. This man is a salesman at my company and a lot of fun. Our paths cross no more than every few weeks, when he stops to chat near my very public office.

I should add that the warning signs did not go off until another co-worker told me quite innocently that she overheard him say that if he were single, he would be interested in taking me out. I have absolutely no interest in him romantically. We are good friends.  Shall I call the Mrs. to run it by her so she doesn't think I am trying to steal her husband?  If I accept, should I insist on paying my way? Am I being naive?

Dear Pandora,

Yes, naïve indeed!  When a wife tells her husband to go ahead to a baseball game without her, she does not mean with another woman.  Do not run this by her.

It’s good that you heard warning signs.  But please listen even more attentively to your own words: “if he were single, ‘try’ anything, wagging tongues, very public office, steal her husband, paying my own way”.  (Why would he pay your way if it were not a date?)

How do these words sound to you?  Is there an element of openness and honesty or an element of hiddenness?  

Your readiness for a relationship muted early warning signs and made this offer sound nice.  But, Dear Pandora, do you want to open this box?  He is a lot of fun and you are friends.  Leave it at that.

Merrily Preston is an Intentional Life Facilitator, who lives in Woodbridge. Her column is exclusive to Local Kicks. Email questions to, or use online form at

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