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ASK MERRILY/High School Drama

Merrily Preston
By Merrily Preston
Posted on Jun 24,2009
Filed Under Personal Development , Opinions,


I will be so glad for my senior year in high school to end. There has been a lot of drama, and I have not handled it well. My ex-boyfriend and his new friend either don’t talk to me or say mean things to me. He and I broke up before the school year began, so this has been going on for 9 months. I just need it to end. Although my dad advised me to talk to the guidance counselor, I waited a long time fearing it would make the situation worse. And it did. I don’t know what I should have done to stop it. Every day I see my ex in class. I honestly do not know what I have done to cause him and his friend to treat me the way they do.  

No one understands how I feel.

Dear No One,

How difficult to endure an unavoidable and painful situation for so long. Most of us do not handle this well. And you are right - no one understands how you feel unless they have been through it.

Please understand that you have not caused the behavior of either your ex or his friend. Their actions are about them, not about you. We are each responsible for our own behavior.

Although the year will end, your excellent question will remain: what should I have done?  

You could have turned to your own inner strength, which is our place of refuge when we find ourselves in a situation like this. One sure path to your personal strength is a practice of meditation, a process of being present with a mantra or conscious breathing. Meditation practice brings miraculous transformation and creates space for pain, which loses its power when it has a place to be.  I know this sounds impossible, but the benefits of dedicated meditation practice are supported by abundant research.  

Find a teacher and begin a daily meditation practice before you go to college. Situations have a way of recreating themselves until we accept the lessons they offer.  

I would love to hear what you discover if you choose to practice meditation.

Merrily Preston is an Intentional Life Facilitator, who lives in Woodbridge.  Email questions to, or use online form at

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