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More Hedgehogs Are Coming to Washington. Here's Why I'm Not Happy About It - Source Washingtonian

Posted on Jan 30,2019
Filed Under Pets , Community,

Photographs in photo illustration via iStock.

Source Washingtonian


The apocalypse is coming—the hedgehogs are here.

Well, at least in Fairfax County. You’ve probably heard that county restrictions on owning a hedgehog were removed last week, as were permit requirements for owning hermit crabs and chinchillas. (Stop, take a second, and let that digest: You need a permit not only to carry a concealed weapon, but also to possess a hermit crab.) The critters are allowed in Loudoun and Arlington counties, as well.

While I’m tickled by the fact that someone, somewhere is impassioned enough about these pokey mammals to champion their legality, I have a sincere question for all these hedgehog hounds, these protectors of the prickle: Have you ever actually spent an elongated period of time with hedgehogs? Because, well, they kind of suck.

Sure, they’re cute for about the .0005 seconds they unravel from their little sea urchin balls, poking out their furry snouts and beady eyes before giving you a look that says, “Yeah, I’m an exotic animal worth $200, who TF are you?” But a soundbite of cuteness does not a worthwhile justification make: That’s like marrying a dude you just met at a bar because he remembered your drink order. Nah.

Source Washingtonian

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